The Counte$$

What’s the fastest way to increase the value of your painting, plus drum up some publicity for your sagging art career?

Answer: Cover it with 250 karats in diamonds, price it at $110 million, and have your PR firm declare it a “masterpiece.”

That’s what artist Rophar has done with the painting at left, entitled “The Countess,” which will be unveiled in Beverly Hills (where else?) next May. Unveiled to whom we can only imagine.

The following are highlights from the press release, which was found one fateful morning in the FineArtsLA inbox. We can’t vouch for the painting, but the press release is certainly a masterpiece of bloviated chest-thumping, not to mention English grammar:

After abdicating his reign many years ago, Rophar announces his return with one of the World’s Greatest Masterpieces of All Time “ Menagerie”. World Renowned Master Artist Rophar gives us a view into the Exceptional World of “The Countess”. Over 18 months in Creating this 48 X 60 Masterpiece Painting adorned with over 250 carats of “Genuine Diamonds”, “A First in the History of Art”, a 21st Century Masterpiece.

Only “The Countess” could convince Rophar to share again his God-given gift with the World!

Rophar – Commissioned by the Danbury mint and is rightfully acknowledged in Who’s Who in American art. Rophar – A rare Master Artist, his paintings were so prized by collectors, that they paid six figures in the late seventy’s and early eighty’s for a chance to own one of his Original Creations. Rophar – An Internationally Celebrated Artist collected by celebrities and art sophisticates all over the world. The unveiling will be held May 2008 in Beverly Hills, an Exclusive evening hosting the World’s Elite!

At, be sure to click on “Connoisseur’s Club” to sign up for news about Rophar’s oeuvre, which includes depictions of cats playing bridge and flute-playing gnomes, sure to hold a distinguished place above your gas-lit fireplace.

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